Lithuanian: ginčytis su tavim, kaip su pliku pešiotis
English: arguing with you is like plucking with a bald-headed (hair is not mentioned, there’s the point)
collected: Kaunas, Lithuania (01-10-2016)
origin: traditional Lithuanian joke. Heard originally from her mother
011016017
Lithuanian: Tavo smegenys – tokio dydžio, kad jeigu įdėtume jas į graikišką riešutą, mes girdėtume nieko
English: your brain is so small that if we put it in a walnut and shake it, we hear nothing
collected: Kaunas, Lithuania (01-10-2016)
origin: common Lithuanian-style joke
011016016
Portuguese:
English: When you were born you probably hit the floor really hard because your face is totally messed up.
collected: Kaunas, Lithuania (01-10-2016)
origin: Very common type of joke in Portugal – a way of telling someone they are ugly.
011016015
Portuguese:
English: Your mother is so fat, when you have to drive around her in the car, you run out of gas
collected: Kaunas, Lithuania (01-10-2016)
origin: more recent yo-mama joke from Portugal. Very common in Portugal to insult each other’s mothers
011016014
Portuguese:
English: Arguing with your wife is like reading the Terms and Conditions of software. You just scroll down and accept it.
collected: Kaunas, Lithuania (01-10-2016)
origin: heard it while drinking with some old guys in his hometown of Ourique, Portugal
011016013
Portuguese:
English: your father’s weiner is smaller than yours
collected: Kaunas, Lithuania (01-10-2016)
origin: in Portuguese. Overheard an exchange between a couple. The man said: you cannot say one thing to me that would make be both happy and sad. She responded: your father’s weiner is smaller than yours.
011016012
Lithuanian: pjauti grybą
English: cut the mushroom
collected: Kaunas, Lithuania (01-10-2016)
origin: classic Lithuanian sayings – ways of telling someone to “buzz off” – basically go do something impossible
011016011
Lithuanian: stumk laivą
English: push the ship
collected: Kaunas, Lithuania (01-10-2016)
origin: classic Lithuanian sayings – ways of telling someone to “buzz off” – basically go do something impossible
011016010
Lithuanian: spardyk debesis
English: kick the clouds
collected: Kaunas, Lithuania (01-10-2016)
origin: classic Lithuanian sayings – ways of telling someone to “buzz off” – basically go do something impossible
011016009
Lithuanian: pūsk traukiniui padangą
English: blow the train’s tire (with your mouth)
collected: Kaunas, Lithuania (01-10-2016)
origin: classic Lithuanian sayings – ways of telling someone to “buzz off” – basically go do something impossible