English: You’re as useful as a pair of tits on a goldfish
Collected: Amsterdam, Netherlands (12-16-2018)
Origin: He used to work in an Irish pub in Amsterdam and heard it there
121618-008
Dutch: Hey bolle! Heb je een scheet gelaten of stink je altijd zo?
English: Hey, fatty, did you just fart, or do you always smell this bad?
Collected: Amsterdam, Netherlands (12-16-2018)
Origin: Heard it when he was a teenager in middle school in eastern Netherlands
121618-007
English: You’re so stupid you can’t tell your ass from a hole in the ground
Collected: Amsterdam, Netherlands (12-16-2018)
Origin: Might’ve heard it on Saturday Night Live (Celebrity Jeopardy skit)
121618-006
English: You are one beer short of a six-pack
Collected: Amsterdam, Netherlands (12-16-2018)
Origin: Heard in Pittsburgh, PA (USA)
121618-005
English: You don’t have syrup between all of your pancakes
Collected: Amsterdam, Netherlands (12-16-2018)
Origin: Heard in Pittsburgh, PA (USA) at a local diner
121618-004
Dutch: pannenkoek
English: pancake
Collected: Amsterdam, Netherlands (12-16-2018)
Origin: A common phrase that has been around since he was a kid, Usually said when someone makes a stupid mistake, local Amsterdam expression.
121618-003
Dutch: Jij bent echt te dom om te poepen.
English: you are too stupid to poop
Collected: Amsterdam, Netherlands (12-16-2018)
Origin: A popular insult from maybe 10 years ago.
121618-002
Dutch: Krijg jij nou effe lekker flink de tering.
English: Catch the Consumption / Tuberculosis
Collected: Amsterdam, Netherlands (12-16-2018)
Origin: Disease-themed insults and profanities are common in Dutch language. This one may come from the time of traveling/trading by ships and catching Tuberculosis overseas.
121618-001
Dutch: Jij bent zo dom. Jij moet het plastic van je hersenen verwijderen
English: You’re so dumb you have to unwrap the plastic from your brain
Collected: Amsterdam, Netherlands (12-16-2018)
Origin: He made it up
090318-008
German: Du bist Sockenbügler
English: You iron your socks
Collected: Durham, NC (9-3-2018)
Origin: Common German expression. Literally “you iron your socks” and is a way to call someone uptight and anal. Originally from Rhode Island, but lived in Berlin, and is a German language teacher.