010816011

Latvian: Tev ir reti skaisti zobi.
English: You have really beautiful, rare teeth
collected: Riga, Latvia (08-01-2016)
origin: Traditional Latvian insult joke. her uncle says it to her all the time. Play on words – word for rare also means “gaps”

010816010

Latvian: Tu esi tik neglīts, ka pat tava mamma mēģināja pārliecināt ārstus, ka tu neesi viņas dēls.
English: you are so ugly, that even your mom tried to convince the doctors that you were not her baby.
collected: Riga, Latvia (08-01-2016)
origin: A joke his father used to tell him when he was a child, because he said he was an ugly baby

010816009

Latvian: Man ir māsa. Un mamma teica, ka viena no mums ir atsitusies tēvā, bet otra pret izlietni.
English: I have a sister. My father said one is similar to him, the other was hit by a sink.
collected: Riga, Latvia (08-01-2016)
origin: Traditional/classic Latvian joke. Play on words – double meaning of the word for “similar”

010816008

Latvian: Tava mamma ir tik veca, ka viņas instruktors bija dinozaurs
English: Your mom is so old that her driving instructor was a Dinosaur
collected: Riga, Latvia (08-01-2016)
origin: She read it on the internet (originally in Latvian) a year or so ago and remembered it.

010816006

Latvian: Tu esi tik īss, ka tev ir nepieciešamas kāpnes, lai uzkāptu pa kāpnēm.
English: You are so short, you need a ladder to climb a ladder
collected: Riga, Latvia (08-01-2016)
origin: He heard it somewhere in Riga, but can’t remember when or where.

010816005

Latvian: Vai tu varētu beigt runāt? Man jau mati sāp no tā.
English: Please stop talking. My hair hurts.
collected: Riga, Latvia (08-01-2016)
origin: Traditional Latvian insult joke. He heard it today at his office. Very common within his work environment – in which people work in close quarters and shared workspace

010816004

Latvian: O, tas gan bija ļoti labs – nopirki esesā? (ss.lv)
English: Oh, that was a good one! Did you buy it on ss.lv (Latvian ebay)?
collected: Riga, Latvia (08-01-2016)
origin: He heard it today at his office. Very common within his work environment – in which people work in close quarters and shared workspace